DAY 12

Excited that it seemed cooler today and it was raining a bit, maybe that's why the sky was brown yesterday. But it still turned out to be muggy and by the time I got to the Tokyo Govt. Office, I was soaked in sweat. I was there to meet my first English conversation class, organised through Tamio, a retired employee. He took me way up in the building, where of course there was another observation deck, then we met with the 20 some women who meet for lunch and English practice with me! It is a long standing position, and I am the 76th artist to be employed. It was only an hour, but good fun, with all the lovely ladies. One woman makeds her own miso paste, cool! They were eating their lunch and I was getting hungry seeing and smelling their delicious home made food. I tell you, putting together lunches here is no slap dash affair. Arrangements in numerous boxes, a bit of this a bit of that, something special. And beautiful. There they were eating in this dingy room with no windows, and I felt sorry. The exterior of the building is all flash, yet the staff only areas are functional and sterile, so utilitarian, but with no pictures, no colour.
I told them about long service leave in Australia, apparently their contracts are not so generous. I am keen to find out what the public service is like for employees here.
After class Tamio generously took me for lunch in the canteen and I had a big bowl of noodle soup with tofu and mushrooms, wonderful. Free green tea is everywhere! He confessed he played the banjo in a bluegrass band, and was off to practice, but frst he took me to a giant electronics store, as I had mentioned I wanted to get a dat recorder. I found a whole pile of them, but only with Japanese instructions, and ranging from $60-$250. Another project.
All in all it was a good day and I feel like each day there are mini achievements, and I am glad for that.
Kampai!

DAY 11

I can't figure out how to make the comments easier, except to try and try again. Maybe it's the Japanese flavour?
I found the Excelsior Hotel today, just at the end of my wandering, I went up a street I hadn't been up yet (I am covering every street in the region), and there it was, and guess what, I couldn't see the bloody sign from ground level! So I must find a way to get up high and closer. Jeez.
Had a great day, totally productive. From doing yoga and working at home here, eating melon and miso (not together), to going successfully to the post office, and mailing a parcel, and getting stamps! Then I just wandered for hours, seeing and smelling it all; the drains are fully stinky, to contrast with the tasty food smells. Passed a rock band, all with their hair teased and SO much make-up, hilarious. The men are so fem, mostly. I saw the same guys later on nearer to my area, theres a club down an alley way behind the supermarket, really rocking, the other day I was in the market and the floor was shaking.
There are so many little feral cats around, I suppose where there's fish...had my first stand up sushi as well. It was so lovely and cool, they gave me an English menu, and I just ordered away. The chef put a big fresh leaf in front of me, then proceeded to make each piece fresh to order. I have never seen so much work go into 2 pieces of sushi in my life, for $2.50, so many steps, such handiwork, ART! I gobbled up the deliciousness in 10seconds. There was some cool jazz playing and I got some more wasabi while the woman next to me nodded at my selection. Oh please let me eat at every restaurant in Tokyo and have such a great experience!
I had read about an English speaking cafe that served great coffee, and had it in mind to find that while I was at it. And I did, I don't even drink coffee, but I treated myself to a tiny perfect espresso while having a cigarette and iced water. All was right with the world and the caffeine intake was just what I needed to inspire me in another stationary store. This must be my fifth I have visited, and I can't get enough of them, they are huge...all the beautiful writing paper, and graph exercise books...I won't even let myself look at the pens.
All this had taken me into the evening, and I saw the sky darken and turn a rich vivid brown. Never having experienced this before, I was in awe. No wonder so many buildings are powder blue, its so they compliment the evening sky. Stood in the center of the square outside the station, where all the Uni students congregate and smoke, with neon all around me, and video screens blaring; it makes Bladerunner look like child's play!
Dinner I made mushrooms with beans and greens and garlic on buckwheat noodles. Tasty.
Anyway, love to you all, I am thinking of you.

Kitchen so small I do the washing up and cooking sitting on a chair!

Day 10

Here's my tidy living room for Lisa!
Saw a programme on folding your clothes neatly last night. Rivetting. People are indeed very tidy, I remember when I was young at school, and knowing some Japanese girls; Yumi Ando, and Keiko, they used to fold the cardigans over their arms very perfectly. They were into Hello Kitty and stickers and had the nicest handwriting I had ever seen. In the spirit of things my handwriting has improved since being here. At one of the openings I was asked to sign the guestbook; so I picked up a pen and put my blundering name down under the beautiful calligraphic names on the page. Mine was so messy and dislocated.
There is an obsession with plaid here, not flannel, but golf trouser tartan, all sorts of shirts and pants. Weird.
Made it to Roppongi 'Hills', the hills part I couldn't see. I was imagining nice green rolling hills with a tower on top...but it was more skyscrapers than I could poke a stick at, and the Mori Museum was on the 52nd floor. Who ever heard about putting a museum up so high? After being ushered in and out of the elevators I started feeling like some automated idiot. I hate user pays and the entry fee was hefty, with no re-entry. I hate that too. I enjoyed Ai Wei Wei's show despite my bad mood. I hope he is alright, I kept thinking about him. I fully hate high heels and the snippy clippy sound they make. The floors in the gallery were wooden, and I could see millions of indentations pock marking them. I should pay less for my nice quiet soft heeled shoes, that leave no mark!
Screwed up at the supermarket again when I went to buy some bananas for the day. I wanted only 2, and so took a couple off the bunch, anyway, as it turns out the bunches were for sale, not singular! I held up the whole queue with my numbskull behaviour, and ended up not buying anything, because I didn't want to carry a whole bunch with me all day.
I am finding the sense of order disorienting, I just want to mess things up a bit. The formality and chandelier mentality (just made that up) is too depressing.

Feeling hefty

Watching some tv, and once agan it's an eating contest. Groups of people labouring over tempura, chops, rice, all sorts of things. The camera zooms in on their mouths and gobbling, it obsesses over it. I have noticed a lot of food programmes on tv. The camera luxuriates in the food, like porn movies, scanning over the glistening textures, loving the shine and gloss. There seem to be game shows about guessing certain foods. The sets are fantastically complicated and there is text (kangi), on three sides of the screen. I have seen a couple of game shows that feature panels of guests, all in a comedic fashion, guessing something. There was one that had a laquered table in the center, and on it, a bed with a paper cut out of a man, with a sheet over the body, when the answer was correct, the sheet blew off. Another show featured a circular table and when an answer was correct, I assume, the chairs went spinning very quickly, around the table. Very quickly! I loved it, but the guests looked scared.
Today I felt tired and laden, so I worked at home for a bit, then went for a walk and found a regular park and sat under the trees with my "Learn Japanese" book. Small children were happily screaming, and searching for acorns, and it just seemed the right thing to do on a Sunday. Found a baseball match near-by, and watched the players off the field smoking. They love their baseball uniforms here, and their cigarettes. Have been seeing kids in Scouting uniforms alot around, and stumbled on the hall today, full of eager safety captains.
Today was the first day I didn't fear getting lost. I have wandered around enough to gauge my whereabouts, and after going in one direction long enough I know a few landmarks enough to see where I need to head to get to more familiar territory.
Got some takeaway okra and some sort of fish, at least I think it was fish, or scallop hopefully it wasn't pork fat. It was delicious, and only cost about $3.50.
Figured out how to print my own business cards, as there seems to be some cult about giving them out, and if I ever meet anyone, I want to be ready.
Still can't figure out how to download music onto my I-pod...urgh! I am so sick of Elton John, even though 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road' is a great album, I have had enough of it. I have been listening to it since I was 7 years old. Thats 36 years ago.
Crikey I feel like an old lady. Found a toilet in the skating rink up the road, went in and actually asked in Japanese, (phrasebook in hand), and of course, the woman replied in English. Funny seeing the skaters, all in their costumes, taking it seriously, but having fun as well I suppose.
I am trying to find a building I can see from my window; The Excelsior. Its sign seems exactly like the one in Sydney, and I want to see it for myself.
Been cutting out pictures of Asian art form the catalogues I scored yesterday, they are so cute.
I wonder if heating the toilet seat encourages bacterial growth. Is a cold toilet seat really so bad?

Made it to the National Museum in Ueno. Had my map out like a big dummy and was confused, so I just followed the crowds. It was enormous and I feared not being able to cover the whole place in one day. But fortunately due to the spartan hang it wasn't a problem. The architecture was magnificent, and there was so much to see. First room I went in had a whole bunch of Hokusais...and kimonos and scrolls and laquerware, and china and those darling netsukes and swords and armour and more Buddhas than I knew existd. Such amazing things of beauty, and the paleolithic area dated back to only 10,000BC. The very early stuff blew my mind, it looked Mayan. I was enthralled by the gardens, and the views outside made me weep. This beautiful circular glass room you can just sit comfortably in and view the gardens.
The swords looked so sharp and fierce.
My biggest surprise was the early Manga and political comics, astounding artwork setting the precedent for Anime today.
On the way back I wandered through the gardens and there was a children's book fair, so I could indulge in their cuteness, then I found a shrine, and homeless people living in the park. The mozzies were digging into me with ferocity at dusk; fat white blood, yum.
There was a stand selling octopus balls next to the station and I chomped down a half dozen of these delicious treats, covered with Bonito flakes. What I liked was the dried Bonito, when it comes in contact with the hot ball, it shakes and writhes, just like a real fish. Its as though it comes back to life.
Exhausted, I retire.

One week

Hermes building; glass bricks

Yesterday was a blast. Started by meeting one of the studio managers, Sachiko, in Ginza, an upmarket part of town. I got there early, as I do, and the exit was through a giant Georgio Armani store. I needed the toilet, so I decided to ask there. I was just about the only person in there, except for shop assistants in each corner. I took the elevator up to the women's department and was eschewed through a hidden door in the wall, this place was lux all the way, and there I was in my own private bathroom, with the most high tech toilet I had ever seen, and since being here I have seen a few. But they scare me with all their buttons, and in one I just couldn't figure out how to flush it! I am proud to say that I had my inaugaural ass wash and shower in the Armani store in Ginza.

I found her easily enough, and her English is excellent. She took me to a printmaking opening at the Yoseido Gallery. Not my style, but I had to feel Zen about it. Then we got back on the train and went to the French Institute of Japan where an artist she knows was having her opening, and this was tops. The artist, Fujiko Nakaya, installed foggers in the gardens and there was this intense mist, under a moon. Very haiku with the frogs and crickets croaking, and champagne flowing. The Japanese are intense Francophiles, which I didn't know, thanks Bec. I was told the artist was the second daughter of the esteemed Dr. Ukichiro Nakaya, a snowflake inventor? The work: Mercurial unfolding Ver. 1.0.

Sachiko and her two friends then asked me for dinner, and we went to a place down an alley, full of smoking men and kneeling little wooden tables, and sake bottles all across the counter. Sachiko took charge and ordered for us all, and we ate all sorts of yummy things, my least favourite chicken livers once again, to my most favourite; Agedashi tofu. They were all surprised that I knew it. I fear I was more piggy than they were, they just weren't tucking in the way I do, and the dishes were great spartan amongst four. But having little bits and pieces over time added up, and I felt sated. On the way home we passed a melon seller, and I exclaimed, as the smell was so sweet, and they were Y500 for 2. In my hood, they were Y1,000 each! Yamaki, who spoke no English squeezed me, and went to buy one, but she got me one as well, I tried to pay but it was a gift. Very lovely ladies.

Today I got up early to meet Sachiko at the University of Tokyo, for a talk by the esteemed ambassador for Australia...The night before, I had said that I'd contacted the embassy because I wanted to go to parties, and she thought I might be interested in this morning talk. Well I wasn't. I nearly fell asleep in it, they should've served coffee beforehand!

His excellence (I hate that) spoke about Aus. and Japan in the Asia Pacific; Partners for the future. Broad bilateral relationship...strategic security and economics, multi-polar global order, pan-regional mandates and trans-national reach, financial architecture, multi-lateralism and the best; tri-lateral strategic dialogue. He spoke about "safe" food imports from Aus. and a stable, rules based economy. It appears there is a fear of China's growing Superpower.

I tried to be polite but I was thinking, I only have 3 months here and I come all the way out to wherever it was, costing whatever it has, and I missed yoga for this.

Afterwards I set off the alarm in the lav, as once again I couldn't figure out how to flush.

Super hot today, very sweaty. Trains packed, so many people flowing in endless directions, each train station bigger than the last, and just humongous industry going on around. Business.

Came back to the flat and had a sit down bath, put on the air con and made art.

Oh, and aired my futons (all 3 I have piled them on top of eachother)! It's hard work being clean.

Theory on skinniness; an island this small could not afford to have too many fatties. The smaller the island the smaller the people? Kind of, but not always. I think its this intense moderation, and consideration. You are considerate of others by not being greedy. On the trains, if you are porky you take up more room, and with so many people needing to fit in...well, you get my point.

DAY 6

Hm, felt at peace today. Been dreaming about a lot of people, every morning I wake up feeling like I saw some of you! Did yoga, managed to vaccuum, eat miso and tofu, bathe and finish washing all and sundry, then get out after lunch. Walked along Wasada Dori (road) to find the Buddhist temple. I felt courageous and calm, walking with my camera, going into every doorway I could fit into. Taking loads of snaps. Sure there were a few stares, but I felt 'so what, I'll never see them again'. So much to look at. I had joked before leaving that I would be happy to while away time in a carpark in Japan...well that was exactly what I did! I took photos of drains and pipes and signs and windows etc. I feel shy about photographing people.
Saw a big group of women in kimonos walking together somewhere, the kimonos were much plainer and more simple than the ones I see on tv, and I realised this was actually their daily garb. In the West we have such homogenous clothing, I mean, we rarely wear frock coats or knickerbockers for instance, the vast majority of the places I have been to have adopted jeans and tees. ..I am sorry I haven't spent much time in Asia, I have missed out on a whole world of cultural presence.
Needless to say, they were all skinny.
The women here don't seem to bare their midriffs. I have heard that here, the belly is sacred and should be kept covered. Apart from in Harajuku, clothing is quite modest.
I found the temple, took off my shoes and was shown around by a very pleasant man who was struggling so funnily to speak English. He took me to a big room, with Buddha, and we kneeled, he clapped and gonged a bell, then a giant hump of a wooden fish, it was hollow and clopped. I was entranced. There's a cemetery next door and I walked around there as well. People burn whole packets of incense there constantly, and I loved seeing the turd-like ashes on a wire receptacle, all lined up.
On each grave these wooden planks are lined up with characters, many of them sometimes, and of varying ages. I loved seeing them, they are like chopsticks. There was also a pile of them being burnt.
The path was small stones, over very well swept hard brown dirt. It's the first bare earth I have seen yet in Tokyo.
Got some raw fish, made some cucumber salad and had some kimchi and a rice roll, with mango juice. Totally yummy.
I was thinking about what Lisa Kelly said about wanting a breakfast like ones you have at home, indeed I enjoy variety, but I also wanted some plain cereal. Couldn't find any, there were lots of sugary Kelloggs, and porridge full of berries...ended up getting Japanese cornflakes. Seeking muesli!
Tomorrow is my big night out with Sachiko, one of the studio managers, so I doubt I will post.
Tooroo!

DAY 5

I braved it and went to a restaurant today, and what do you know, ordered liver again! Not once, but twice in 5 days, I have made this mistake. I am an idiot. The vegetables were lovely, and I just pushed the offensive offal aside (I can't understand how I can love pate and liverwurst), anyway, at the end of my meal I had finally found Simon Barney's list of useful Japanese, included were the words for liver etc. and I questioned the waitress, and she nodded with sincerity. Next time I am asking first!
On the train I saw something that struck me; a couple of shopping bag laden women were standing near me, both skinny and beautiful. One had on a jumpsuit with buttons across the top, which were bulging out a little. The other woman poked her in the stomach, meanly! I saw her hastily pull her top down to flatten it. What is this obsession with picture perfect? No words were said, but all meaning.
Why are there no porkers around? Are they all too fat to leave their homes? I am serious, I am the fattest person I have seen as yet! In more regional areas does it differ? The food is so good! I read that almost everyone was starving post WW2. I wonder if it might also be the Buddhist way.
Today I spent all day (6 hours) in the Craft Department store; Tokyo Hands. Eight floors of wonderment. I have been trying to attach my flickerphotos on here, save me time. Bear with me! All I can say is WOW. Shinjuku, wow. Wow wow wow wow wow.
Mega-metropolis, city of the future, Bladerunner all the way.
Fuck but the drains smell.

DAY 4

All excited about going to a traditonal museum today, read about it in Time Out guide; Idemitsu Museum in Hibiya. Well it wasn't to be. After searching for a bit, I gave up and crossed the road to the Imperial Palace. What can I say, the pine trees were all amazing to look at, but they were not taking visitors. Didn't matter, there is a giant moat around the palace grounds, full of whale sized carp. The walls are a sight to behold, all stone and gigantic. I revelled in a trance set to Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, playing on my I-pod, and took some photos of the number plates on trees along the avenue. Even the trees are accounted for. Then I made an attempt to draw the complex roofing system on one of the buildings. I walked a lot, and my shoes got very scuffed on the gravel. Both yesterday and today I walked on gravel paths, which seem popular in garden areas, and noticed that the edge of the path is paved and much easier to walk on.
The path of least resistance.
Anyway, on my way home I finally had time to pop into one of the Pachinko parlours up the road, there are a few...MATE! I couldn't hear my I-pod for all the noise in there, I am not kidding! And it was packed with people playing! And people were SMOKING INSIDE the building! It was supersonic hell, but the machines, with the layers of plastic, and video screens and sound and many silver balls, times 1,000...I saw one guy playing two at once, with both hands going! I saw another guy with a calculator! WTF! I just couldn't believe it, and there was another place a few meters down the road with the same set up. MANICMAYHEMMADNESS.
Then I walked past this place I had seen and presumed was a hotel with it's bright mirrored lobby and reception, but it wasn't a hotel, it was a giant karaoke place! I could hear the various singers/caterwauling through the doors of their booths! People were arriving in droves, and there is another one, just the same, across the road.
Had some wicked nosh from the supermarket, came home, cracked a beer and turned on the telly to find Sumo wrestling. Can I be more happy?

DAY 3

Beautiful hot and sunny day today. Got up early and did yoga and got going. Harajuku district was having a parade today, some link with Korea. Made it there effortlessly and was greeted by amazingness. So many people, and queues of girls, I was curious at it all. I followed a swad of people into a department store; Laforet. I cannot describe the scene, but it was like being on some super trippy trip...everyone has told me that the shopping is insane, and it is. Wild stuff! And today was Hello Kitty's 35th Birthday, and this store was having some BIG celebrations. The stairs throughout the center were lined with excited Hello Kitty lovers, and their garb was unbelievable. Porno Hello Kitty, Goth Hello Kitty, Harajuku madness. The shop stalls were packed, there were so many people, the police were managing the crowds. I just walked around trying not to stare too hard, but OH MY GOD. At one stage I just cracked up and couldn't stop laughing, it was so ridiculous. I got outside.
Had some lunch at a sushi conveyor belt place, and because it was in such a touristy district, there were many tourists there like me. I was sitted next to an American group who were tucking into their beer and getting louder and more obnoxious every second. I heard one say "what's the use of tofu except as a toilet cleaner"(!), and then I heard them discussing Japan and it's greatest bits. One of them mentioned the beauty of Hiroshima, and I heard him say "we bombed the shit out it". What a fucker. I avoid whiteys wherever possible, I just don't want to know them. I saw a white guy eyeing this beautiful sexy Japanese woman, and I had been eyeing her as well! But then he saw me see him, and I just walked on. I don't know how to act.
Anyway, straight after lunch I stepped outside and the parade had begun, full on fantasticness, with drumming and all sorts of performances. I stood behind the official's tent, where the performers made their most audacious moves, and was enthralled by the diversity and committment to culture and costume, and ceremony and theater. It was so exciting, I was crying with joy. Live music just goes through you and massages your soul.
Then I went nearby to the Meiji shrine and walk through the gardens. Spirited away! Thousands of people had the same idea, and we marched up this gravel path to the enormity of wood. Such wood, such a place. I felt so humble and bumbling in the face of such ancient austerity. These big black birds with fat beaks were everywhere in the woods. I sat down at one path and was entirely on my own for 5 minutes, it was heavenly. I saw the lanterns come on, and an announcement was transmitted through the park, basically saying to keep to the paths and not to take anything from the forest. I had just been looking at some sweet pine branches that I wanted to take home with me, but decided against it. I looked down on the ground was a giant dead moth, so beautiful and perfect. I placed it on a leaf, and felt my blessings. This world is astounding if you look around you. I didn't take many photos, it was all about experience.

DAY 2

Saturday
Determined not to starve I set out with all supermarket intentions. I walked around and back three times till I found my way out, and that was a relief. The main street was busy like crazy and once again I just felt ginormous, which I am. Found a supermarket and was doing the shopping, a woman smiled and introduced herself to me, and I nearly cried. Just the least bit of conviviality and I am sobbing. Walked past the aisle with chocolates and things but could not resist some sort of green bean chips. When I opened them I thought they were stale, but then I liked them and ate them all up.
Smelt something nice on the way home and gestured to the seller like a fish, he said no and flapped his arms. Chicken. I got 5 skewers, I let him pick for me. Got home and found 3 of them were innards and skin. The other 2 were delicious though. A few people stared at me, and one man made a ‘wow’ gesture when he saw my gut.
I am feeling very sensitive right now, and came home crying again. What am I doing here? At least I can find the train station now, and will have to face that business again. I was looking through a book last night and there were images of some laquerware and inlaid decorative objects and I remembered why I was here, to see those things, as well as the garbage hunting. I don’t need to go far for garbage, it is rigorously sorted everywhere and there are bags, enough to fill my room, just downstairs. It is a disposable culture, everything is wrapped and put in a bag.
Second day without bread, butter, cheese or sugar. Found some milk though, which means I can have my first cup of tea. I am thinking the headache was caffeine withdrawal.
I am trying to be strong, but inside I am quaking badly.

DAY 1

Friday I think.
Terrified to go out, but know I must get out of this tiny flat or I will go crazy. For the first time in my life I don’t want to unpack. I have stuff strewn everywhere and don’t know where to start. I also feel like if I start then I am really committed, I can’t just run on home. It all seems like a really crazy dream. And here I am for 3 months, in tears wondering why I put myself through this.
The challenge.
Well of course I got my period on the flight over, and have a headache today. Am scared of getting lost and scared of not finding my way back.
Last night finding this place was ridiculous, I was hauling my stuff around these tiny ass streets at midnight and fucking lost. Of course as soon as I asked someone who spoke no English, an older lady who looked tired, she gestured, all the time speaking incomprehensible words and I saw her actually cross herself, but she found it. I was so grateful bowing and scraping.
Here I am.
On my own.
Went through the cupboards and ate from what was in there, made myself some good noodles with seaweed and soya sauce with sesame on top, just like a real Japanese person. Felt hungry still and found a backpack with a tin of sardines, some tuna (called ‘chicken of the sea’), and a can of corn, so I gobbled those down as well. Later on when I read the previous studio artist’s notes I realised I had just consumed the emergency rations for an earthquake scare.
I did go out and I found a deserted Tokyo Fuji University campus with a manicured garden and a big pond full of koi/carp. When I sat down on a rock they came swimming up to me and there were so many of them, all colours, and huge. The pond was not so large but it was impeccably clean and clear, so beautiful. It was funny; I heard a strange zapping sound and noticed one of those big bug zappers installed in the garden. The things growing here are so different to the ones at home in Oz. Sure I recognise a few things but things like grass grow in a soft and fuzzy way. And it seems there is a certain wildness and untamedness that is perpetuated mostly.
I walked around the block a few times and took some bad photos, it was all new to me, and I kept on getting in people’s way, with my ambling fat ass. Finally found a 7/11 and took half an hour deciding on what to get, some yummy foods and a soup with bits of I don’t know what, but tasty, and she gave me some English mustard to eat with it.
The gates outside places are interesting, there are so many varieties that slide back into the wall, and there are grooves in the ground to suit. Also potted plants line the laneways and are so parochial and charming. I finally found a manicured tree propped up in someone’s garden, and I felt a sense of the past pass through me. Sometimes I see a really older person, hunched over or outside their house and I think back on what happened here only sixty years ago. It horrifies me to think that people remember that war.
This island has culture bursting from it in such a fashion. I have only seen about 3 other white people.
It's totally unreal...brain exploding. Just made sesame noodles with seaweed and stuff I have no idea what, but yummy.
I am at
Apartment 617 Totsuka Heights
3-16-11 Takadanobaba, Shinjuku-ku
Tokyo 169-0075
JAPAN!!!
Tel 03 3364 4494
Write me, call me or send me an email...