I wish I had a word to describe what went on

Unfortunately there isn't one. Excruciating was used often, waste of time and money, let alone energy occurred often as well. I wish I'd taken photos of all the wonderful people I met there, and their projects that helped sustain me when things were dire.
Its over now, and I have a new lease of life back in summery Sydney. The cicadas are singing, the garden has grown. Takara has never been sweeter, nor the bed more comfy, or the fridge more cooling. I'm doing my washing and hanging it on the line, admiring the trees I planted, and just feel really sorry I couldn't have made more of the experience and tried to bridge the gap with the office at Shin-Minatomura.
I keep asking myself what I did wrong, not bring presents in the beginning? Not bow and scape more? I will never know, and have to try and not take things personally, as I could see that we were not the only ones being ignored and undermined at every stage.
What fuckers, to invite us all the way there and be so chronically mis-managed and so inept. There was no farewell, there was no goodbye. I had my last smoke and drink in the rain outside on their pathetic loading dock, thinking good riddance, I hope to never step foot into this place again, and thank god for that. Thank god it is over and we are back on home soil where we can communicate and reason, and are shown at least a modicum of respect for our activities.
I've abandoned anger, in fact it has abandoned me. I think I blew a fuse in my emotive hot-wiring on that last day there, and maybe I am cured of the fury at having so much time wasted and so much un-fulfillment. Life is not meant to be so hard and one should not have to suffer so much to realise a project and make an offering of practise.
I will miss the toilets that flush for you, the cosy little coffee shops, with low chairs, great atmos and terrible coffee...I will miss Japan's general hyper-silly obsession with cuteness and the most twee decoration I have seen in my life...so many juxtapositions and contrasts with every day life, I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND BUT WHICH NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
I can only count my lucky stars that I have a home filled with love and some great memories of the wonderful artists I met with and worked with there.
YOU MADE THE SITUATION TOLERABLE
Izumi Murate; superstar extraordinaire...
Nishiko, you are amazing. http://www.nishiko55.com/
Kumiko, I love you and wish we could do nude photographs together, and thanks for letting me put my jeans near your work.
Guillermo Pfaff, for being you, and for making those great paintings in your folding space.
Rai Fujii, for your great work and music playing.
Aki Namba, you are SUCH A HONEY.
Hiro Masuda; for your great kitchen parties and fabulous cooking.
AND ALL THE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO CAME THROUGH AND LET ME SEE YOUR JOY, thank you x 1,000,000
Cannot fail to mention the amazing Bec Dean, who came to the table, and suffered me, and who I also had an amazing time having fun with. I love you and wish we had gotten nude together, as you know.