Monday, October 24, 2011

Some of the lovers


Me and a woman who wore a stuffed turtle on her back

The wonderful Kate

Monsieur (pronounced 'mooshu') Mark

Hiro, in his kitchen at Kogenichu


Izumi preparing for her tea ceremony

Rai working his magic

The amazing Nishiko



Our spirit guide

The wonderful Hiharu

Shop that sells everything

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdkgtO-yWqo

Sunday, October 23, 2011

I wish I had a word to describe what went on



Unfortunately there isn't one. Excruciating was used often, waste of time and money, let alone energy occurred often as well. I wish I'd taken photos of all the wonderful people I met there, and their projects that helped sustain me when things were dire.
Its over now, and I have a new lease of life back in summery Sydney. The cicadas are singing, the garden has grown. Takara has never been sweeter, nor the bed more comfy, or the fridge more cooling. I'm doing my washing and hanging it on the line, admiring the trees I planted, and just feel really sorry I couldn't have made more of the experience and tried to bridge the gap with the office at Shin-Minatomura.
I keep asking myself what I did wrong, not bring presents in the beginning? Not bow and scape more? I will never know, and have to try and not take things personally, as I could see that we were not the only ones being ignored and undermined at every stage.
What fuckers, to invite us all the way there and be so chronically mis-managed and so inept. There was no farewell, there was no goodbye. I had my last smoke and drink in the rain outside on their pathetic loading dock, thinking good riddance, I hope to never step foot into this place again, and thank god for that. Thank god it is over and we are back on home soil where we can communicate and reason, and are shown at least a modicum of respect for our activities.
I've abandoned anger, in fact it has abandoned me. I think I blew a fuse in my emotive hot-wiring on that last day there, and maybe I am cured of the fury at having so much time wasted and so much un-fulfillment. Life is not meant to be so hard and one should not have to suffer so much to realise a project and make an offering of practise.
I will miss the toilets that flush for you, the cosy little coffee shops, with low chairs, great atmos and terrible coffee...I will miss Japan's general hyper-silly obsession with cuteness and the most twee decoration I have seen in my life...so many juxtapositions and contrasts with every day life, I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND BUT WHICH NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME.
I can only count my lucky stars that I have a home filled with love and some great memories of the wonderful artists I met with and worked with there.
YOU MADE THE SITUATION TOLERABLE
Izumi Murate; superstar extraordinaire...
Nishiko, you are amazing. http://www.nishiko55.com/
Kumiko, I love you and wish we could do nude photographs together, and thanks for letting me put my jeans near your work.
Guillermo Pfaff, for being you, and for making those great paintings in your folding space.
Rai Fujii, for your great work and music playing.
Aki Namba, you are SUCH A HONEY.
Hiro Masuda; for your great kitchen parties and fabulous cooking.
AND ALL THE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WHO CAME THROUGH AND LET ME SEE YOUR JOY, thank you x 1,000,000
Cannot fail to mention the amazing Bec Dean, who came to the table, and suffered me, and who I also had an amazing time having fun with. I love you and wish we had gotten nude together, as you know.

No title

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7PyOgrDzXU

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Relational aesthetics



Sugoi! I hear the proclamations and am heartened, I suppose, but is it really great? I field the questions/comments and exclamations, repeating endless thanks and repeating wabi-sabi, mottainai, maki-e, tokonoma, suzuri-baki, tatami are all the words I utilise.
There are stacks of people coming through, when the shuttle bus comes, theres a sudden surge, but yesterday it was endless. So much going on in this space, so much noise and movements as the various artists continue their works.
I enjoy providing cultural content, truly, but what else of it? I feel like I am at an art fair, with my booth. Getting some work done whilst answering to the struggling English that unfortunately is so difficult to understand.
Mercy on me, under the glaring lights and airless room, I come apart every half hour or so.
I don't know what else to do other than work, I don't have the money to travel, and theres no internet at home, so I come here.

Shin Minatomura





Staying in Dream Heights has embellished my dream life, each night of quiet I feel I can hear my dreams more clearly. Last night I was swimming in a large ocean pool, a jade green underwater, with blooms of golden seaweeds floating beautifully like a perfectly arranged garden. I could breathe underwater, and stay deep down. It was so very beautiful and wonderful.
Today is a warm day in Yokohama and a public holiday. Yesterday was some sort of giant sport's carnival up the road and today was band practice and it seemed like running games. The brass orchestra was tuning their instruments, but it sounded like they were playing a Steve Reich symphony, it was a wall of sound, perfectly arranged and monumental. There aren't many sounds that encourage me to remove my Ipod, but this was delicious.
The city was busy, but I got down to the pier easily for once, and felt a knowledge of where I was going...less than 2 more weeks of doing this. Phew, I am looking forward to being in the comfort of my home and environment again.
Have had some great times in Koganichu, a site of artist's studios and workshops. Last night Bec cooked san choy bow for Hiro's street stall down there, which was held in the market place. Following this we retired to his kitchen for boozing and meeting casual strangers. Hiro baked an impromptu banana and white chocolate pie which was devoured immediately after removing from the oven at 11pm. Now thats service! Unfortunately, when we got back to Totsuka the buses weren't running so we had to wait half an hour for a taxi along with fifty other inconvenienced citizens. Motherfucking buses. They charge twice the daily fare after 11pm, and then just cancel their services.
No-one to complain to except Bec, and the poor fellow in front of us in the queue who capitulated by putting on his headphones.
The traffic here is terrible, all the robotic looking compact cars, windows shut full of tidy occupants sitting endlessly in hour long jams, looking stupefied.
Saw a great performance the other night by a Homeless Theatre group, down at the Pier. It was great. Sensitive issues dealt with humanely and creatively, very moving and dark. The set was bare, except a large koi in a tank, which was emblematic of the men's movements and fragility. Afterwards someone asked me what I thought of the performance, finding it located in Japan, I said I thought it was very universal and completely comprehensible to me.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Yokohama surprises


Fingernail arts

Bec buying a drawing
I still get a surprise each time I look up and see I am in Japan again. I’m really here, and this is all going on, it is pretty exciting really.
The forest across the street is impressive, and dense, the sounds that emanate from there at night are strange and wondrous, and the air is always good. Really, to walk up the road next to the forest, it exhales the sweetest scents, and I just soak it up, that green air. The life that forages in there and the abundance of mosquitoes on entering is astounding. I saw a woman come rushing out with swarms of them following her! And then they came for me, but they really just have a cursory bite of and then leave, I taste wrong to them!
The weather is sublime, and I got fed Bec’s amazing cooking last night, replete with tastiness and excellence beyond gourmet standards.
Hm, all there is to do is get the work and install it! This seems the hardest of things.
We have been here six days and feel settled in, know our way around and can navigate the system. I can work from home in Dream Heights, part of Dream Land, Totsuka just 50 minutes from Yokohama. To be in Dream Heights seems like an uber celebration of Dream Island, and it all does seem like a dream, memories. If you have time to process them and then come back to this living world, it is a true gift I am so grateful for. The life we have lived that we can play back in our memories, through our compact brains, sort through the past and re-live some of those moments.
Although when I am in the living, I am trying to absorb the moments that I can relish later, the flash of a beautiful woman on the bus, in fact, everyone on the bus and their silent un-moving stance, its fascinating the stillness and sincere quietude that predominates on the buses out here…Oh, but that beautiful woman, so serene and delightful to watch, head down waiting for her stop, contemplating what extraordinary beauty I will never know.
The moments of looking around and seeing all that is going on at any given time, the mass reflectivity of it all and multi-levelled layers and dimensions. Space seems elastic, with more and more abundance and sights being packed into it, and I know it is Japan, that piling up and smushing more on, its not just fucking beautiful it is fucking ugly as well. There is so much to take in, I am inundated and somewhat exhausted when I go out into the real world. I can’t take it all in, much as I want to there is too much foreigness in this strange Switzerland-perfect Asiatic island lifestyle.
I have my fortune already in what I can make with my hands and their discards.

Friday, August 19, 2011

I get to witness

My proclivities ( I so love that word), 'I like to sit here, go there, do this, eat there, have a drink here' etc. when I am on my own. I also register my weaknesses more, maybe as they are not being absorbed by familiar other people, so I am left to dwell on things. I really notice that if I don't listen to music on my headphones I get depressed. Music is the one thing that can bring me to ecstastic feelings of joy consistently.
I am really registering the difference between my last stay n Takadanobaba and here in Aoyama. The lack of contact with people and the entire novelty of my first month 2 years ago was detailed in this blog, almost on a daily basis. I needed to express myself and through the internet found that mode. Whereas here I am, with a number of people to talk to, and an abundance of projects to keep me busy, there is hardly any time for using this resource. I guess I am expressing myself outwardly and that is fulfilling enough, or exhausting.
I think some of the great things about residencies is coming into contact with people you wouldn't usually meet, and getting to observe yourself in a new way.
I've certainly experienced many excruciating times. I wanted to say moments, but moment is too short. There have been extensive periods of dismay, and full-fledged enduring to be lived through. I have had to dig really deep just to get myself up in the morning and face the day. Maybe it has been the heat and humidity, whose combination since I was a child have made me grumpy and discomforted. I have never sweated so much in my life as in the last 3 months. The salt stains on my clothing will attest to that. In a perverse way, I love to see these sweat marks, wearing a lot of black ensures their visibility and I'm astounded at the degree to which it reaches. Do I really hold that much salt in my body? I am shocked!
Quite honestly the highlights have been seeing performances. It has made me value culture even more, as art brings us together and provides us with not just entertainment, but a shared wonder and sensation. It may not be the same thing we are experiencing but it transcends common life and also provides an escape from the ordinary. I've seen some butoh and Noh theatre work and an enamoured with these art forms...having only experienced them second hand, so to say.
Currently I am working with one of the residents at Tokyo Wonder Site, after a dinner conversation where I explained my position on whaling he asked me to assist with a 10 minute piece he was directing.
I get to talk and get captured and swallowed by a giant bag of chips. It is pretty weird.
This is a work he did earlier, which I love; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPfQELZ9VlY
And this is the monster that swallows me up; http://www.youtube.com/user/kingdomchi?blend=23&ob=5

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Aomori Neputa Matsuri


Aomori was the place, Neputa seems to mean a float, and Matsuri is festival. Just came back from an amazing time up in the North, where the apples grow and people are friendly. We stayed with a Theater group my friend Lina had met, inKizu-Kuri, the Yakokan theatre company. They welcomed us, fed us and supplied us with sake, we dressed and danced and helped pull the float. Two nights of mayhem, speeches and ceremonies. Absolutely fantastic, resting in the day, wandering the vast rice fields and taking the local hot springs, under the guidance of Do-gu, the stone spirit found in a swamp there from paleolithic era. Her name; Shakochan.
I can't describe the events, there was so much drumming and flute playing competitions, there were traditional floats and super pimped up ones, they all rotated and some even bounced like the American hotted up cars. It was a feast fro the eyes, and the beers flowed throughout, we were showered with sake, and then we danced with the spirits of the dead. It was heady and intoxicating in more than one way, it was exhausting and we were soaked with sweat afterwards, then fortified by a feast back at the studio. I've never seen anything like it.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Wakarimasen!

No room for laps
私は理解しない
I don't understand!
So much eludes me, but I am trying. I think where I am really succeeding is at the sushi bars; I've discovered that there are 3 types of sushi you can order, the cheapest is 'bamboo', middle range is 'plum' and the most expensive is 'pine'. I love that. I have also fallen in love with shiso/ume nori, which is the shiso leaf with plum, yum. Cho oishi!
There has been mega activity in the studio and for that reason there hasn't been time to write. I have been researching maki-e, which is laquerware, and making my own versions. Had an open studio on Saturday where a bunch of my dancer friends came. That was great, we went out afterwards and went to the Aoyama Cemetery at night, whence dancing was done. It was a super night and the first where I felt wholeheartedly content. Watching them dance to the strains of Hori's music machine, under the reflected light of the clouds, lying on soft grass, I felt at peace with the world.
I have been so at odds with everything since being here, so moody and tetchy!
Stayed in a ryokan in Tsunashima last week, it had the lovliest old phone I have ever seen and a small rock garden in each room. I loved it. Wish I could stay in that sort of place always. Went to the onsen there, which was very different from others I'd visited, with a big garden and large tatami matted rooms surrounding it, where people lay around eating and drinking, relaxing and even doing karaoke in one of them, and dancing. I loved the vibe there, and took my time as it was a very very hot day outside. Let me tell you, my face cloths and hankies have been getting a good workout here, I carry one and am constantly mopping myself down. In fact there is a scarf in the freezer, packed with ice packs that is made to wrap around your neck for vicious days, it really works!
Maybe its the heat thats getting to me, and the officialdom of this place, there is so much expected of you, but it is so hard to get anything done, it seems like there are so many obstacles in the way. I suppose some of it may be my misunderstanding of procedures, and just simple things can take hours...urgh!
Tomorrow I am going up North with Lina to a festival there, in Aomori. Will be back on Sunday!
Me with Mr.Eyeball (Taiwanese artist) and fabulous cook/makeup artist/assistant

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Clean living



I don't think I have lived so clean, except for cigarettes, in more than twenty years. I am working in the studio every day, not drinking alcohol, or coffee, and just working. I even stopped watching reality shows on TV dome...
The other night I worked through the night, saw dawn break and then went to bed, hands paralysed from drawing so intensely, and today I got up at dawn and went out for some activity. I made the huge mistake of going on the subway at supreme rush hour, where I was squashed to the point of hysteria, I was watching the faces of people entering the carriage and the excruciating grimaces as the ones behind kept coming in. I've never experienced anything like it, and now know that is what the average commuter gets to experience most every day. Poor sausages.
I sat in a coffee shop (ok, one coffee), and watched the women behind the counter working. Folding and preparing the orders, always cheerfully greeting each customer, only one in thirty made some chit chat. Their boiled eggs appeared from nowhere, and the vast majority of people get iced drinks. I like the mornings, there is less frenzy and pushiness. But I would like to know where those boiled eggs came from, was there a little old lady downstairs sending them up, or is there a specific machine under the counter to cook them to perfection.
I was contemplating this whilst eating my little sandwich, with the crusts removed for me, and I wondered who had made this and when, and where. In the supermarkets there must be kitchens where all the food is prepared, but you just never see behind the doors. And all the riceballs I scoff, who makes them, and where? So many questions about the foods I am idly consuming.
I went to a garbage recycling facility today to view the processes. They tried to make us feel better about our consumption, saying that the total amount of garbage has decreased, yet I could see it everywhere. I was so dis-satisfied, wanting to get out of the bus and look and watch up close, but that was all off limits. I felt I was only being shown a tiny side of the whole process. The landfill areas were impressive and vast, but we couldn't enter them either. Early forests were being planted and you could see these immature trees struggling to grow and I just felt sorry for them, for all the pollutants they would need to combat and all the heat torture they would suffer. They look like Dr.Seuss plants at the early stage, all twisted and insecure.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Day by day


Some art at a bar in Otsuka

I was so excited on Saturday night as I turned on the tv and the tour de france was in full swing, but with no commentary. No commercials, just the bikers and the views, what a rush! I sat drinking and lulled by the endless commitment, such achievement and skill. Unfortunately that was the only night I could receive the broadcast, every other evening the station is down. Sad.
On another note, I have been spending more time in the studio and feel like there is some evidence of my stay here, and when I'm working I am in the moment, concentrating, yet lost in the process. It feels otherworldly. When I go out of the studio and see people, I am a bit discombobulated, as if I had been on nitrous oxide, I just find it hard to warm to conversation again, my mind has been in such a focus.
I went out early morning the other day and noticed how friendly people were, acknowledging me, saying excuse me, and generally acting human and civil, aha, I realised, in the afternoons, everyone is tired and hot and over it, it's not me, it's the situation that is getting to everyone.
Went to the bath house last night and found that if I had a cool wash before hand then the baths were tolerable and I could luxuriate for much longer. There have been times when I've gotten so dizzy, I'd have to sit outside for a bit...I especially love sitting after the baths, and eating some chips and drinking a yogurt drink. I never want to shower the next day, as I don't want to wash off that special feeling. There is one bath that is filled with some sort of silky steamy milk, you can see swirls of it, and the steam wisping off of it quite mysteriously. I love that bath the most.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Some strange things











And beauty everywhere.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Sweet ladies


I don't know what I would do without my friends. Women have always stood by me all my life, since I was young I have had great women friends, older, younger, immaterial what age. I love them all and love being able to call them or see them and share my world and share theirs.
I think about us all and how we are going somewhere or getting things done, and how beautiful and unique each one of them are, and I feel blessed to be in the lives of so many amazing people.
Go girls!

Travelling solo


I discovered that July 7 is a special bamboo day in Kamakura, and there are many festivities surrounding it, as the stars align that night...and children decorate the bamboo with homemade trinkets

Going it alone can be wearying, but also elating. The kindness of strangers plays a big part, as does my own sense of navigation and instinct. Listening to my body and being somewhat prepared for a myriad amount of adventures and new sensations. I went to Kamakura early on Monday morning, just an hour out of Tokyo, a mountainous area chock full of shrines and my favourite temple so far, the bamboo temple Hokokuji. That was the first stop I made, to wander in the garden there, drink a green tea and sit and contemplate the tall beauty of these plants. During my tea drinking a woman and her daughter struck up conversation with me, which is the right thing to do during tea, an enhancer for discourse. She recommended the temple at Hase, and I take on all recommendations.
I left there and ate my little lunch which I had made the night before, fortified, it began to rain, I had a plastic poncho I'd brought, cleverly, and I set out on my unknown adventure. I found a small route behind the temple, and began to follow it, it came to a forest at the base of a mountain, and as soon as I got there a Western man in his wet pyjamas was exiting, he said hi and I entered. It was magical, just beautiful, tall trees, cypress pines I think, and nobody else around, I went up the slippery path and climbed for about 1/2 an hour, getting hotter and hotter in my poncho. I couldn't decide if it was better to take it off and let the rain drench me from the outside, or leave it on and be drenched by my own sweat. I got to the top, and there was only fog, I knew it was a lookout, but I could see nothing. I sat and had a cigarette and contemplated my choices, no map, no water, no other people, oh well, just continue to the unknown. The path was now clearly unused, as so many spider webs were strung across it, I passed a dead mole, which alarmed me, and just when the going seemed to be getting easier I slipped and fell. Fortunately not too badly, just straining my wrist and getting the most intense clay mud all over me.
I finally made it down, and made my way into town, found a lovely lunch place then a bus to my accommodation for the night which was quite a way out of the town center. It was a hostel with shared dorms, but in traditional style. I got there and had a shower, and a drink then enquired about sunset lookout points, they all gestured towards the balcony, but I wanted more forest, so I climbed the mountain behind. I adore the swathes of deep green forest on top of these mountains, dense and tropical with bamboo feathering out of it, like some soft swaying beauty. I just wanted to contemplate it. There was no lookout, but I found a quiet looking car park and sat there, sheltered by a single car. Naturally a woman came out as soon as I got there and said something then got into her car. I gestured to the bamboo, and said beautiful and she must have been touched by pity 'cos she got back out of her car with some biscuits for me. I couldn't believe it, a perfect stranger. All day I hadn't spoken to anyone except the shopkeepers and staff at the guest house, and here was this stranger giving me biscuits. I was very touched.
I had bought some sushi for dinner, but the staff were making octopus balls and were sharing them around. It was a really nice place, and nobody spoke English, but I felt fine. I had shared a small oyster with one of the other women staying there and in the morning she forced me to take a cucumber and a tomato in return. There is a great deal of even-stevens here, I often go to pay for somebody else, and they always insist on paying their own way.
In the morning I went to Hase temple and was not disappointed, the hydrangeas were in full bloom and I found the most amazing caves around the back with buddha statues carved into them, all wet with moisture, and glistening. There was one section where you could buy small statues and deposit them in the cave. Bentenkustu It was very mysterious and I was bent over double as the caves were so low, but it was some experience. I have never sweated so much in my life as in the sun that day. I even bought tickets to a pretty bad museum just so I could enjoy the aircon! Kamakura is on the coast so I faced my fears and went down to the beach, and stood in the water, contemplating the betrayal of the sea. This same ocean which gives us so much, which we in turn pollute and abuse, had returned with a mighty killing. But it is the same ocean as my beloved Pacific in Sydney!
I walked around buying souvenirs and eating snacks till it got dark then got back on a train to Tokyo.
I was thinking of a book I had read before leaving Australia that Lisa had lent me, 'Naomi' by Jun'ichirō Tanizaki, which concerned visits to Kamakura. I loved visiting the same place albeit 90 years later, and thinking about it.
When I got back my backpack was soaked through with sweat, and absolutely everything had to be washed, but I felt replete and exhausted.

Hori's socks

Hori, a great dancer whose flat we hung out in, in Tateishi does all sorts of beautiful works using clothing and materials. He has been collecting his socks for many years now, old ones that are beyond repair, and cuts them and overlocks the edges. He plans to make a futon cover with the end result. I thought they were the best use of old socks I'd ever seen. I believe he has a pair by comme des garcons, his favourite designer...